You could call me noob, trash, pathetic, pitiful excuse for a gamer… they’d all fit. Until I received this jacket. As soon as I put it on I could feel something in me change. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I logged in - that’s when the magic began to surface. I could immediately tell I had been transformed and the essence of excellence now coursed through my vines. I’m now cracked on the sticks. But only when wearing the jacket. Girls also notice me and I can compute complex mathematics on the fly. But when I take off the jacket, I’m back to being a trash loser. So I’m never taking this jacket off.